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Carter looked at Perry and said, "Thom isn't my pimp, Perry. If a peek at my boobs is gonna keep you from turning into a demon again, then I'll let you see 'em — but not out here where anyone can drive by and I get thrown into the same jail you'll be soon sent for indecent exposure.

"Sweet!" said Perry to himself, satisfied that he would soon get a private showing.

"Dammit." Carter put her phone away. No signal out here. Are we really back in our own world, Thom?"

"Yeah," Thom said. "We're just out in the countryside in the middle of nowhere."

"I guess we just keep walking. We can't be that far away from the inn." said Perry.

After an hour of walking down the deserted road, Perry finally broke the silence between the exhausted group. "So, how come we never found the mourning maid?"

"Rabbit ate her," Thom said. Then, just before either of his companions could ask, he said "No, not really. I have no idea. Maybe she's one of the Fair Folk and she just wasn't in the neighborhood."

"The thing in the cave didn't seem so fair after you ate her, Perry," Carter pointed out. "That was probably her. She probably had powers or something that made people think of her as that maid."

She looked at the journalist and photographer and began to wonder what she was doing here. Perry was a man-eating but apparently loyal were-demon-dog. He was far better protection for the journalist than she would ever be. Not only had she been useless in her role to provide security, she'd actually made things worse by being there. She trudged on without talking, while considering what her next career choice might be.

"I guess," said Perry. "It's just weird that we didn't see anything like what the legends described. She even laughed instead of crying."

A half hour later, another truck approached the trio. It stopped, and the driver offered them a lift into town.

"What do we do now?" asked Perry. "I lost my camera and have no photos. What are you going to write, Thom?"

Carter wondered, too. But she suggested, "How about the truth?" Perry turning into a monster beast was interesting. "And nobody will believe it anyway."

She thanked the driver and hopped into the back.

"I'll figure it out after we get back to town," Thom said. "And after we find out if we're dead or not." He also got in the truck.

The driver dropped them off in front of the Scarlet Cock and wished them well before continuing on his way.

Thom looked at his companions and the inn door. He looked back to Perry, then to Carter. "So, want to start the chaos now, or put it off for a few minutes?" he asked her. "If just you or I go inside, we might get to call the Crescent before things get exciting. Once they see Perry's fashion statement, that's not going to be an option."

Carter nodded. "You go on ahead. I'll stay with Perry."

Thom nodded and stepped inside the inn. Noisy conversations filled the air, until there was the resounding crash of a filled beer stein smashing on the floor. All talking stopped, and everyone turned to stare at him.

"Could I borrow your telephone," Thom asked.

"Local calls only," the old lady behind the bar said.

"It's international, but I was going to call collect," Thom said.

Without a word, she placed an old fashioned rotary-style phone on the bar. The room remained hushed, and Thom could feel everyone's eyes on him.

As Thom dialed the operator and asked for the Crescent's staff line, collect, it occurred to him that he should have at least checked his cell phone for service first. If it still worked after six months, that'd be an indicator that the rest of his bills might have also been paid. "Thomas Duncan," he announced to the automated system at the appropriate time.

After a moment, a woman's voice came across the line. "Doctor Duncan? Where are you?"

"Ireland," Thom said tiredly. "At the Crimson Cock, and ready to come home. But I don't know if we have luggage, or valid passports, or are legally alive. I thought I'd check."

"No missing person reports have been filed. Are Ms. Carter and Mr. LaRose? with you?" Thom could hear the woman typing away on her computer.

"They're here. Perry needs pants," Thom said.

"Understood." The woman took Thom's statement in stride, as if he'd announced it was raining. "The file indicates the Crescent has continued to pay the rent on one of the rooms at the Crimson Cock, and your belongings are being stored there. Tickets for your return flight will be waiting for you at the British Airways counter at the airport. Do you require assistance getting there?"

"If we've got clothes, we can manage to scrape up cab fare," Thom said. There was still more that could be wrong, but he'd worry about those when he was back in America. For now, one thing at a time.

"It's unlikely you will find a taxi who will drive you to the airport, given the distances involved. I will arrange for transportation for you." She paused, and Thom could hear more typing. "Done. Someone should be there to pick you up within the hour. Is there anything else I can help you with, Dr. Duncan?"

Thom sighed. "I don't suppose you know if I still have an apartment?" Honestly, most of the stuff in it could be gone for all Thom cared, but inside the safe bolted to the floor of his closet was his copy of the Grimm's manuscript. Or at least it had been when he left. For that matter, the Enigma was in there, too, and it could be kind of dangerous.

"The paperwork you signed when you began working in the field gives the Crescent limited power of attorney privileges. Those are used to maintain your place of residence in the event you go missing while working on a story, among other things."

"Guess I should have read the manual. Thank you. You've been very helpful."

"You're welcome, Dr. Duncan. Welcome back, and have a safe trip home."

"That'd be a change," Thom said. "Thanks."

He disconnected and headed back to the others to let them know what he'd learned.

---

Outside, Carter's cell phone chirped, letting her know she'd missed a call.

Carter muttered, "Oh cool, we have service again." She pulled out her cell and checked her recents and messages. She had a total of 1679 missed calls and text messages.

"Hey look, Perry. 1679 missed calls and text messages. Somebody cares." Seeing Seamus on there 40 times, she decided to give him a call first. She hit redial from his last missed call note.

Carter's huge phone backlog reminded Perry of the reality he had left behind when they left for Ireland in the first place. His life had been going to hell in a hand-basket and it was starting to sink in that six months being absent was going to make that all the more worse. It made his current situation, destitute and dressed in rags, seem like a dark omen of worse things to come. He sat down on the curb to wait for Carter to finish with her phone calls. It was so much easier being a demon. There were no responsibilities or worries of rent or phone bills. Just the thrill of the hunt and sensations of just being alive and in the world.

When Carter's phone connected, it rang twice then immediately went to voice mail.

She left a short message. "Hey handsome. I'm still alive. I didn't run away. More like a kidnapping. I can explain when I see you again."

While she waited for Thom, she decided to look more carefully at all those messages.

"Shit," Carter said, once again wishing fervently she hadn't quite smoking cigars. She decided that she was going to start again. As soon as possible. The 25 messages she had from her mother meant she was still alive then. She cleared her throat and dialed mom.

It picked up after two rings. "Cinga? Is that you?" At first Carter didn't recognize the voice, but she realized it was that weasel her mother had tried to betroth her to.

Carter sighed heavily. "Kershret, why do you have my mother's phone?"

"Where have you been?" he continued as if she hadn't spoken. "I've been worried sick about you."

She spoke to him as her father's daughter, letting authority fill her voice and pacing her words with a focused patience that acknowledged him, without giving him room to avoid her question again. "Answer my question Kershret. Why do you have my mother's phone?"

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone. "Someone gave it to me, thinking it was mine."

"When was that?"

"In the aftermath of that little mess at the hotel."

Carter sighed. Evidently, he'd kept it and used it to call her (among whatever other use he might have had, perusing her mother's list of contacts). The guy was a weasel and she figured opportunistic predation was something he was likely to engage in. "All right. What's been going on since my mother and father were killed?"

"We probably ought to talk about that in person," Kershret said, his voice dropping to a whisper. "It's too dangerous to talk about over the phone."

"All right. Listen, I'm not back yet. I'm on the move. I'll contact you again when I'm in a better position to talk to you. Anything else you can tell me right now?"

"Other than your life is in danger," he replied hurriedly. "I need to see you as soon as possible. Where are you?"

While she listened to his response, Carter covered the pickup on her phone with her hand and said, "Hey. Momag! You around?" She waited for a moment, but there was no answer. Poor little guy, she thought, loyal to a fault. Probably also dead or trapped in another world.

"Of course my life is in danger. My father painted a nice big target on my back when he died. Therefore, no one needs to know where I am."

"But Cinga, we-" Kershret's voice suddenly dropped to a whisper. "Oh no. They've found me. I have to go. Call me as soon as you're back!" And with that, he hung up.

Carter stared at her phone. This was getting weirder by the moment. She looked at Perry. "I think you're lucky you just happen to be a man-eating monster. Being half demon is much more confusing." She looked around. "And apparently I've permanently misplaced Momag."

She was a little sad about that. He was a masochistic little devil, but helpful nonetheless. Also she felt less alone against an increasingly hostile world if she knew there was one demon at least that was on her side.

That of course led her mind to think of her father, a demon who really had been on her side her whole life, but she didn't know it. It was like she got to know her real father and lost him all in one fell, explosive, swoop. Now six months had passed, though it only felt like a few days to her. She wondered if he was all the more evil for having concealed his real feelings for her entire life, only to reveal it when it was much too late. Well, he was a demon after all, she supposed.

Now she was left with his legacy and had no idea what to do. With no one really on her side in all this, she decided that the best thing to do was to keep a low profile. It's the one thing she did know in her life as a demon hunter: Keep your head down and tread cautiously. Strike when victory is assured. The trouble was that this time she didn't have a quarry to track. She sensed someone was after her, unless her instincts were completely off, but she had no idea who.

She put her phone away, folded her arms under her chest, and waited for Thom to return.

Thom returned and told them about his conversation with the Crescent. Carter was silent as he delivered the update, but he could see on her face that she was unhappy.

"I need to take a separate flight back," she stated. "Do you think they'll have a problem with that?"

"I have no idea," said Thom. That was all he was going to say, but for some reason, he found himself adding "What's wrong?"

"I suppose I've kept you in the dark long enough, given that six months have passed in a single night," Carter stated. "I don't like the idea of telling you this, and I only do so out of concern for your safety.

"First you ought to know that my mother's birthday party was the large gala in New York which ended with hundreds of people crushed in the collapse of that hotel. That's where I was. She'd intended to announce my engagement to someone she'd decided was either what she considered good enough for me, or that which I deserved in her eyes. Either way it was bad news for me because it would have only furthered her own ambition, which generally leaves bodies in its wake.

"Now here is the crazy thing. I'm a half demon, right? You've heard me say it. I hunted demons for a 'living' so to speak, before coming to this job. Anyway, it turns out that my human mother is the evil bitch, and my father — a demon through and through — the one that actually cared what happened to me.

"What's happened is this. I was named his heir. That's a pretty huge deal. My father is — or was — a big deal in demon circles. He then disavowed his marriage to my mother. I got the hell out of there just before he did because I was warned and after a talk with him, I decided to actually trust him. Good thing I did, too, or when my ma lost her temper, I'd have been killed along with everyone else who were too close to ground zero near my parents.

"Now, my father left me a letter, sealed in such a way that it couldn't be opened unless he was killed or incapacitated. Back in the office, just before we left, that's what you saw me open." It explained how pale Carter had gotten and how upset she obviously was. At the time, she refused to talk about it.

"Basically that means that I hope my mother is dead. She probably isn't, with my luck. My father might be dead. Either way, unless he shows up, I'm the heir to all his power, with none of the actual personal power to back that up. That means I'm target number One in the demon community. According to the sheer number of phone messages, their looking for me and now at least some of them are aware I'm alive.

"I've got to make contact with my dad's number two demon. He's supposed to be running things as my agent. So long as I'm alive, I figure he's got the power to run things as he sees fit, so it serves his purposes for me to remain so. Enemies of my father, however, will probably have me dead so they can discount any other claim as his heir or right to run... whatever the hell it is my father runs.

"So. Here's how it's gonna be. You two get on a separate flight. I need a secret flight made for me for later. I need to definitely NOT appear on the passenger list with you guys. While I wait for my own flight, I have to make contact with my agent because I need more information. And I have to contact Seamus because he might know what to do. I don't want you two to end up like my mother's birthday party guests. Capiche?"

In truth, Carter was still trying to do her job. In her mind, sending them ahead without her was keeping them as safe as she could manage.

Perry was horrified by Carter's story. "Holy moly, Carter! How the hell are you going to stay hidden? They must be looking for you everywhere with magic spells 'n shit. You need a disguise! And help! Thom will think of something."

That reminded Thom what they'd told him inside about their belongings. They'd all been moved up into the room Carter had been assigned, and nobody'd been in the room since. The room was now haunted, he was told, by a violent spirit who attacked anyone who walked through the door.

"I appreciate the thought, Perry," Carter said honestly. "I really do. But it's not fair to drag you guys into this. I told you this stuff so you'd understand that you need to get far away from me right now for the sake of your own safety. At least until I figure out what to do." She looked down at herself. It had been a long night/six months and her clothes bore the war wounds of her climb and race through the wild fey lands, and the obvious remnants of blood — much of it her own, thanks to the angry bunny wabbit. "I need to find a change of clothes first, too. I don't suppose our luggage is still here somewhere?"

"Well, about that..." Thom said. "According to the nice lady behind the counter, they stuck it all in your room, and now your room is haunted."

"Haunted?" Carter looked blank. Then her eyes lit up. "Haunted! Of course!" She had a grin on her face as she hurried into the inn and went directly to her room. She knocked urgently on her door and whispered, "Momag? It's me!"

The door creaked open and she heard the excited exclamation of "Mistress!" a split second before something small attempted to tackle her lower leg. Tiny arms and legs wrapped themselves around her shin. "You're back! You're back!"

She lifted the little demon up in her arms and quickly stepped inside both to get out of sight as well as to allow space should the boys want to come in. So relieved was she to find something familiar her embrace nearly crushed the little fellow (who was bound to enjoy the painful hug in any case). "Good work, Momag, keeping watch over our things. I thought I had lost you in the horrid place we were stuck. Tell me, have you any news?" She released the diminutive demon and let him race up her arm to perch on her shoulder.

Perry had tried to complain about Carter's refusal of their help but she wasn't paying any attention. He eventually decided that Thom was right, damn him, and he could use to get into some new clothes.

Thom at this point basically just tried to stay out of the way. The little demon was something to be mildly curious about (and concerned over), but every useful thing Thom had to contribute, he had already contributed. Now he wanted a shower, fresh clothes, food, and a ride to the airport.

Oh, and a bag of dirt for Perry, if he could figure out a way to get it through airport security. But anything big enough to serve as a test for Thom's theory was probably too big to pass security without attracting even more attention.

"Where were you, Mistress? You went away and were gone for such a long time. I didn't know what to do. But you told me to keep and eye on your things," Momag babbled. "And I did. I kept everyone away. The old woman, the two young people who smelled of marijuana and sex, the stinky man with the gun. Everyone!" He stopped speaking abruptly, then cringed.

"You did well, Momag," Carter assured the tiny demon. "Now, can you tell me about the man with the gun? What did he smell like?"

"Like a great big stinky cheese! And his gun was really big, but nowhere near as impressive as yours," Momag hastened to add.

Carter tried to recall if this sounded like a demon hit man she had ever heard of. In the off chance that Momag knew, she asked, "You don't happen to know his name, do you?"

Momag shook his little lizard head. "No, Mistress. But I sure scared him good when he tried to sleep in here."

"Sleep? Was he looking for us, do you think? Did he go through our things?"

"No, Mistress." At the little demon's reply, she realized that someone who was a demon hunter, or a demonic hitman, likely wouldn't have been scared off by anything her little servant had done.

She nodded, satisfied. "Okay. Let's get ourselves together so we can plan our way home."

"I should be able to help with that." A deep, gravelly voice came from the depths of the room. It took a moment, but Carter recognized it as Grendek's.

"Damnit," Thom muttered. "I could have gone all day without an ominous voice from the shadows."

Carter had jumped at the voice, but she smiled at Thom's comment. Since Grendek hadn't already tried to kill them all, she figured he was still on her father's side, which made him sort of on her side too. Maybe. "Grendek. I haven't seen you since just before the party. Can you give me any news about my parents?" she asked, skipping all pleasantries, introductions and formalities.

Grendek looked at Thom and Perry and then back at Carter. "Are you sure you wish to discuss the family business in front of your... associates?" His voice was carefully neutral.

"That bad, eh?" Carter nodded. "Okay, that will wait. Back to your offer. You have a way back that that's going to get me by whatever might be out there looking for me?"

"That depends on where you wish to go," Grendek replied, "but my intelligence network had informed me of any immediate threats to your safety."

She wasn't sure what that meant, so clearly they needed to talk. First, though, she needed to take care of Thom and Perry. "If you have a way to get Thom and Perry back to the Crescent that is faster and safer for them taking a plane, then I think we should do that first. Then, you and I need to go somewhere to talk."

"I think we need to discuss which definitions of 'faster and safer' include 'suggested by the scary demon guy looming in the shadows,'" Thom said. "I'm sure the car is already on the way to take us to the airport."

"Are you ordering me to protect them?" Grendek asked Carter, sparing Thom the briefest of glances.

"Do you have a way of getting them home that is faster and safer than taking a flight?" Carter asked. "If you do, and if Thom and Perry both agree, then we can talk about whether protection is necessary." She was getting from Thom already that he was definitely not comfortable around a demon. She didn't blame him; she wasn't either, and she was half demon, herself.

"No." Grendek's reply was simple and to the point.

"Fair enough." She stepped out of the way, closer to Grendek. There she stood watch while her friends got their things so that if Grendek something, she might have some (admittedly small) chance of intercepting him before he got to her friends. Really, she did it to reassure her friends more than anything.

Grendek stood there calmly, watching Thom and Perry until they left.

When the room was clear, save for Grendek, Momag, and herself, she asked, "So. What's going on?"

"There's a lot of ground to cover. Where should I start?"

"From the beginning. And I know you won't sugar coat anything, right? I hate that." Of course, he was a demon. Obviously he wasn't going to sugar coat anything, but Carter said it out of old habit.

"Well, we're not exactly sure how the universes started....'

Carter gave him a wintry look. "Focus on what we care about at present, Grendek."

"Your mother, along with approximately fifty other family members and sixty guests died or are otherwise missing. Your father is among them," Grendek said without preamble. "According to his wishes, as his heir, you are know in control of his considerable estate and holdings. As such, I am your bodyguard and personal assistant. There are currently no plots to assassinate you beyond what would be expected as the head of your clan."

"What are his estate and holdings? Also, what exactly are the responsibilities of the head of this clan?"

Grendek picked up a briefcase Carter hadn't noticed before and opened it with a deft flick. He removed a four inch thick tome and handed it to Carter. "This is an up to date listing of everything you now own and are responsible for. As head of the clan, it is your duty to make sure your clan prospers, to mediate disputes and punish those who break the laws, and to ensure everyone's safety and well-being. And to make sure you have an heir to take your place, or everything will fall into chaos."

Carter frowned. "Can I name whoever I want to be an heir, or does it have to be a blood relation?" She hefted the tome and flipped through it idly, wondering if it was at least in a language she understood. It was, kind of. She never did pay much attention when her mother tried to teach her to read demonic languages. To this day, she still couldn't tell the difference between "go to bed" and "go rip his arms off and crap in his skull".

"It must be someone of your issue," Grendek said.

"Great," Carter replied dryly, "I'll have a clone made."

She bit her lip as she stared at the pages. This just wouldn't do. "Momag? Can you read this stuff?"

"Yes, Mistress, I can." Momag grovelled at her feet. "Please don't hit me too hard."

She stooped down and gave him a flick of her finger to the side of his head, making his ear ring. "Good. Then I want you to translate this stuff for me and also teach me to read it myself. I'll promote you to interpreter."

"Oh no, Mistress," he shook his little head. "I am not worthy of such a grand title."

Grendek snorted with disgust.

She raised an eyebrow at the little masochist. "Interpreters get punished more."

Momag shivered with delight.

"If you're finished with that waste of flesh, do you have any other questions to ask me?" Grendek ignored Momag, while the little demon seemed to actually enjoy being insulted.

"Yeah. Is there anything that needs immediate attention?"

"Several hundred things," Grendek replied.

"Okay, then I need a place to work and a list. Where's dad's office?"

"At the clan stronghold, of course."

Carter considered that. The stronghold was well within the clan holdings. It was well protected but she knew she'd be under constant assault of things that "required" her attention. She might never escape and that really would be hell. She shook her head. "No. I'm not going to get to all this stuff. I need to prioritize and I'm going to need help from people I trust. I can't get their help in the heart of demon-land, Grendek. I need an office in the States. Somewhere I can figure some of this out and do what I think needs to be done without being harassed every minute by the next demon with an 'immediate' need."

Grendek gave Carter a stiff nod. "Your father also maintained token 'offices' in New York, L.A., Paris, London, Madrid, Cairo, Sydney and Detroit."

"Detroit?" Carter mused. "That will do. Make that as secure as you are able, get me the address and I'll begin there. The first thing on the list to take care of is my father. I'm not considering him dead until I see a body. That will be your second task. I need proof that he's dead or alive. You investigation needs to be subtle and kept quiet. Between you and I, I don't consider him dead, only away for now. I consider this a temporary position until there is irrefutable proof he's dead. When he returns, I have every intention of handing him this mess he created right back. I'll also need to know if mother survived. She's a threat to the clan, and should be considered as such until there is proof she didn't survive. Because of what happened at the hotel, I hearby use whatever authority my father has given to me to strip any and all status and power she may have had in the clan. I want a list of every ally she ever had Grendek. And then I want them watched. Closely. If they sneeze wrong I want to hear it. Dad had the resources, so I guess now so do I. Make that happen."

Carter hefted the book and her suitcase. "Come on boys. Momag. We're going home."



Tag Next


Is there anything you guys would like or want to do right now? I was planning on shifting things straight back to the offices after the group gets back to the States.

Nothing here. Perry is anxious to see how bad has gone to worse in his private life since he's been gone.

oh, thank god. I was terrified that something else would go wrong before they got back to the States. :)
In RFTH: The Animated Series, Grendek's voice would be done by Michael Wincott.

Yep, ready to go!

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